A Migraine Royalty Adventure Intro.
So I have decided to contact the chaps over at the White House. Obama seems like a pretty chill president. Surely they will be happy to pass on the contact information for the makers of Air Force One. Oh yes. Boeing. See that wasn’t too hard. What..? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Try and hold your questions for the time being. I’ll get them all answered, I promise.
Our Royal Family has a pretty challenging time getting together. Our quirky DNA manifests into all sorts of autoimmune and central nervous system diseases and disorders. Migraine Royalty usually is close cousin with *Interstitial Cystitis Royalty , *RA Royalty or a second cousin (once removed) to *Lupus Royalty. We’re one of those families. Not only are we spread across continents and countries but our maladies make travel taxing and sometimes impossible. Plus there are the #Royal pets. We would never forget those treasures.
The technological age does have it’s charms. I’ve actually found #Twitter to be among them. This is a surprising confession for a woman who loves the feeling of paper underneath an inked pen. However, there are those days when Twitter will not due. When hugs must be had, cupcakes must be nibbled and champagne must be sipped. So those days I occasionally drag out the invisible jet. I get it all gussied up and set about picking up all you lovely #Royals from around the globe.
We have amazing adventures. More are yet to come.
Nothing peps up a group of girls like downing a few faux mojitos infused with oxygen while joining the Mile-High Pedicure Club. On our last trip we stopped off in T.O. to pick up Dean and Dan the oh so fabulous designers that make up the label Dsquared. It was an absolute riot to have them custom design us loungewear for our cupcake affair. Talk about feeling like a queen (and the little pet outfits…come on..to die for) !
Really, it was a most perfect evening.
Nothing is free, though somehow it is easier to pay the piper with a smile plastered collectively over all our faces.
Here’s the thing. Our #RoyalFamily is growing. Everyday.
So many lovely people to meet and connect with.
I was out on the invisible jet just the other day with a contractor, discussing the addition of a Candy Bar counter. It would cater to the joys of all things sweet, salty, sour, chocolatey, crunchy and randomly delicious. Once discussion began about a pharmacy and an animal ark (kennel) we swiftly realized room was running out.
That just will not due.
Since I am bringing on a whole new flight crew of male nurses, (which, trust me is a story all in its own right,) I knew we might as well get a bigger better, invisible plane.
I’ve done some hunting around and here is what I have found for us.
Firstly, Boeing is the way to go. Presidents and royalty alike find them suitable, so that is a good start. The newest line of 787s have special features to accommodate fabulous people with mobility, sensory and cognitive disabilities. For example the bathroom includes a movable wall that allows two separate lavatories to become one large wheelchair accessible facility. Pretty cool no? The bells and whistles of air filtration, particulate reduction, and specialized lighting go on to amaze. And that is before we talk about how to trick it out. Nothing is too good for my family.
We can pop over from New York City to Hong Kong at a cruising speed of mach 0.85. All while not having to notice the new noise reducing features.
Our fuel economy is improved 20% over the 747 which I had been considering. All this adds up to a sale: I am sold. Besides what is a few billion dollars between #Royals?
I’m pondering a series of Royal C & C Parties (Cupcake & Champagne) in extravagant locations. The new invisible jet won’t be ready for a few months but the planning starts now. I can surprise you all with adventures or you can weigh in and we’ll go from there. The gentlemen who will be working with us as crew/nurses/security are an absolute riot and will be helping set up all our excursions. I can’t wait for you to meet them.
In the interim, I think we may have one more spontaneous cupcake trip due us, so we may have to head to Madagascar to stare at the stars and demolish some delectables. Are you ready to climb aboard?
P.S. A little housekeeping:
Just a gentle reminder Kay, Isabelle and Felix, as hilarious as the Game of Thrones style whip cream battles are, I think we may have to retire them as a way of settling arguments. That stuff takes forever to get out of the carpet (and it starts to smell funny). I’m going to keep a steady supply of crazy string onboard from here on out instead. It’s far more civilized and should still do the trick ;) Also, Lana, Lisa, Elaine, Sharron and Melissa, you left your crowns in the overhead storage compartments. I shined them up and they are waiting for you. Let me know if you want them Fed-X’d. Anybody missing any pet toys?
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Of course.. you will remember that are you beloved and you are nobly born.
Above all else, you belong.
Congrats on following the asterisk all the way down here.. it means *not literally.