Today, I am like Bjork.. "I am a grateful grapefruit". I could slip in a Topiramate/Topamax joke here. Something about how you shouldn't judge a grapefruit by it's peel, I'm not a cannibal, I'm not even allowed to look at other grapefruits sideways... and shame on you for thinking otherwise. But you know, not everyone has had to give up grapefruit juice in the name of Topiramate. It's kinda playing to a niche demographic. So instead I'll just say, hey..remember that swan dress Bjork wore ..that was something eh? Sometimes working with friends has interesting results. I kinda liked it.
This past week or two has been rather physically challenging. If it were not for my mindfulness meditation, breathing practices and audio books, challenging would not be the word. ;) I find that I can push through the first week without too much trouble. Folks will ask how I am doing, and instead of speaking from my pain, I'll often say: I'm happy in heart. The people closest to me know what that means. It hurts but it hasn't got me in a headlock. However, two weeks in bed with migraines and various system flares will mean the laundry has gotten away from me, the dishes are stacked, the floors need tending and my cupboards have only a few protein drinks to call friends. The "Shoulds" are multiplying like rabbits around my bed and all I can do is sick the cats on them. Survival mode doesn't have room for much else. It can feel like a maze of stairs, all descending away from the world.
And yet there is this amazing feeling I carry around in my heart. A deep seeded sense of being understood and heard. It is a healing balm. I am reminded of the Sufi mystic Rumi and one of his writings.
Why the Prophets are Human
A woman came to Ali, "My baby has crawled out
on the roof near the water drain, where I cannot go.
He won't listen to me. I talk to him,
but he doesn't understand language.
I make gestures. I show him my breast,
but he turns away. What can I do?"
"Take another baby his age
up to the roof."
The woman did so, and her child saw his friend
and crawled away from the edge.
The prophets are human for this reason,
that we may see them and delight
in the friendly presence
and crawl away from the downspout.
(excerpt from Feeling the Shoulder of the Lion, Poetry and Teaching Stories of Rumi, versions by Coleman Barks)
I have been witnessing an outpouring of support within our community, not only from one #Royal to another, but you Lovelies have been supporting me in really powerful ways too. Launching #RoyalJet missions and #ChronicLife Moments when I am having a rest day... (these things make my heart soar,) and sharing more of yourself with us in so many different ways. These friendships are valuable to me in a very authentic and palpable way. Thank you for being here. You'll never fully know the impact you can have on another persons life. The notes I receive, continue to humble me.
There is something so powerful in knowing that another has been where you are- right now- and they have gotten through it. Especially with chronic illness because our experience can become so extended that we forget what pain-free feels like, or sleep, or a settled stomach, and we need to be in touch with people in all stages of the cycle. It gives up hope, keeps us grounded and helps us value our good days. Maybe best of all, it eats the beast: Isolation. The stairs lead up from there.
If you ever want to contribute, have an idea , or would like to find out if there are ways to get involved, drop us a note.. we'd love to chat with you.
A very big thank you, to my amazing female friends & Royals. I'm truly a grateful grapefruit.